The penis cannot be
increased in size. It final size and shape are
genetically decided. Forge it!
Remember that, if we talk
about the mechanistic part of sex life, the penis size
does not make a woman happy. Rather what you do with it,
how you do it makes the difference. So pl. focus on love
techniques than penis size.
To last longer in sex (=
controlling premature ejaculation) please read the
following write-up.
Coming (ejaculating) more quickly than one or
one’s partner wants in intercourse is a very common problem.
We call it premature ejaculation, early ejaculation, rapid
orgasm and the like. Usually people describe it in terms of
time – ‘I come within a few seconds’ – or in terms of number
of strokes – ‘I don’t even give half a dozen strokes and I
come off’; But the issue is really about voluntary control
over ejaculatory process rather than number of strokes or
time.
You are not alone in this problem. About of
third of all American men are estimated to suffer from an
inability to control the timing of their ejaculations.
A number of factors are implicated in the
cause of this condition. First, it is very common in younger
males; Ejaculatory control appears to improve with age for
many men.
Secondly, abstinence hampers control. A new
partner or an exciting technique could also do the same.
Anxiety is implicated for some.
But ejaculatory control can be gained by
-
becoming aware of one’s own levels of
sexual excitement during sexual intercourse,
-
recognizing the level of excitement above
which ejaculation is inevitable, and
-
learning the skills necessary to stay at
high levels of arousal without coming.
This needs a bit of patience, observation,
attention and skill, but the results would be impressive.
Just as swimming or cycling can be learnt, so also
ejaculatory control could be.
A number of authors have described elegant
techniques of ejaculatory control. You may wish to go
through the links provided on the right column of this page.
The most popular techniques are the stop-start technique
developed by Dr. James Semans and the squeeze technique by
Masters and Johnson. Many others have added their own
variants to these.
To gain ejaculatory control, you may wish to
follow the instructions below:
Practice them in the comfort of your home or
at a place most convenient for both, and in an atmosphere
free of distractions, tensions, anxiety, fear etc.
Indulge in foreplay leisurely and enjoy every
erotic sensation you experience.
Do not penetrate the vagina rapidly, and do
not start thrusting as soon as you enter the vagina. Take
time to penetrate. Penetrate slowly and in stages. As your
penis makes its way through the vaginal sphincter, the warm
and moist intravaginal environment and the squeeze of the
sphincter are likely shoot your sexual excitement up to the
peak and trigger orgasm and ejaculation. On the contrary,
pushing the penis inch by inch into the vagina and relaxing
for a few seconds after each push helps you to stay in
control.
Do not start thrusting immediately after
entering the vagina. Wait for a few seconds till the rising
sexual excitement comes down to manageable levels.
If at any time during or after penetration,
you feel that you are going to come (ejaculate), quickly
empty your lungs by exhaling a few times simultaneously
through the mouth and the nostrils.This will relieve you of
the high level of excitement and bring back control. Some
experts like Edwin Hirsch and Bernie Zilbergeld suggest that
drawing the air in slowly and deeply will reduce ejaculatory
premonition. You may try both methods and chose the one best
for you.
When you feel better inside your partner’s
vagina, you may begin to give a few (usually 4-5) long and
slow thrusts and again stop for a few seconds. This
intervening rest period may range from a few seconds to a
minute. It’s you who should determine this. Relaxing for too
long will cause the penis to lose erection partially, and
too short a break does not serve the purpose. So take only
as much break as would be needed to reduce your sexual
excitement, at the same time keeping the penis hard enough.
Got it?
After this gap of a few seconds, give a few
more thrusts (this time more strokes than the previous lap,
say, 6-10) and stop once again. Thus, continue starting and
stopping for sometime until you can continue to do the
thrusting without frequent breaks. This procedure will help
you to gradually gain orgasmic control in less than ten
sessions.
After you reach this stage of progress, you
can expect to be in a position to control your excitement at
the desired level by slowing down thrusting rather than
stopping movements altogether.
As and when you decide to reach orgasm you
may do so by making the thrusts shorter and faster thereby
allowing your excitement to mount to the peak. Of course,
the female partner can also participate suitably.
In a nutshell -
-
Commencing penile thrusting immediately
after penetration may favor or trigger early
ejaculation.
-
Short and rapid thrusting often leads to
rapid orgasm while slow and long stroking facilitates
orgasmic control (Barry McCarthy)
-
Continuous (nonstop) thrusting, whether
rapid and short or long and slow, tends to cause rapid
orgasms. Thrusting intermittently with carefully timed
short periods of rest encourage orgasmic control.
-
Recognizing the point when ejaculation is
about to occur is important to learn orgasmic control.
-
If ejaculatory premonition is felt at any
time during thrusting, but the point of no return is not
reached yet, breathing out rapidly through the mouth and
the nostrils (rather than taking a quick, deep breath
and holding it) reduces the rising pre-orgasmic
sensations.
The success of this technique depends on many
factors. It is important that you participate in this
program in a relaxed setting. The couple should be free of
anxiety, hostility, relationship conflicts, fear of
abandonment, of displeasing the partner etc. It is also
necessary that the entire program be discussed with the
female partner and her cooperation sought. It would be
helpful if the female remains a passive partner till the
male partner gains adequate orgasmic control.
Often mild resistance may come up from the
female partner, who may protest that this slow and
start-stop thrusting is depriving her pleasure. She may
insist on rapid nonstop thrusting or initiates the movements
herself, thus interfering with the male partner’s learning.
It’s necessary that she understand that this is only a
learning process and that once the male partner gains
sufficient control, she can get her due share of pleasure.
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