Thank
you for sharing your concern with us.
Let's
examine the issue raised by you in three parts. First,
about not getting an erection with your g/fs. I just
want to remind you that though erection is a physical
event, it is controlled as much by physical factors
(such as blood flow into the penis), as by factors not
so physical.
In
fact, as you know, this hardware requires appropriate
software to function. If there are bugs in the software
they fail to direct the hardware to act. Or even
misdirect.
I guess
this is what is happening in your case. You said the
problem has popped up with the last two partners. It
follows that you haven't had this problem before. And
you don't have difficulty getting erection with Viagra.
These indicate that basically you have no physical
factors that hinder erection.
It
leaves us with psychological barriers - conscious or
subconscious - and circumstantial factors as potential
culprits in your problem. Your self-consciousness about
penis is one such factor. When you are proud of yourself
(positive self-image) you perform confidently. At least
absence of negative feelings about body image helps you
indulge in sex without inhibitions. When you are
inhibited by feelings about penis size or your ability
to perform etc., it dilutes the sexual responses -
resulting in weak or delayed erections or both - no
matter whether you get oral or whatever.
And all
this may occur with one partner but not with another.
Time,
place, surroundings, hurry, fear of pregnancy/disease,
performance anxiety, eagerness to please the partner,
fear of failure, partner's demand, partner's behavior
attributes, lack of sufficient attraction... and the
like are some situational factors that hamper erections
and other sexual responses. If you carefully analyze,
you would probably be able to identify some causes.
Avoiding them can improve the situation.
Regarding penis size, if it's a short penis you may
be delighted that it has the advantage of stimulating
the outer 1/3 of the vaginal barrel where most nerves
are distributed. (Deep inside the vagina there are
virtually no nerves so the woman does not feel the penis
there.
If the
penis is slender your girl friend can learn to hold it
tight with the muscles around her vaginal opening so
that both of you get a tight squeeze and the
accompanying pleasure during thrusting. So no worry
about penis size.
As to
Viagra, some people have experienced delayed orgasm -
maybe you are one, or you have different reasons such as
the barriers mentioned above. And... oral is not
necessarily the best means of stimulating erections.
When you are well aroused through other physical and
psychological stimuli, erections should not be a
problem. I guess you will do good to yourself, if you
learn to relax and abandon yourself totally while
enjoying sexual interaction. Be a little selfish for a
while (till you are comfortable with yourself. Do not be
focused on pleasing the partner and your erections
should improve without drugs. Similarly by focusing on
enjoying your own sexual responses, you would be able to
come soon too.
You can
help your girl friend reach orgasm too, but without
losing focus on yourself. Try woman-superior position
and give simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Read some
sex manuals for help.
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